Monster's Ink

There will be a Poetry & Prose Open Mic at the Writer's Center in Bethesda on April 11th, where I will read a passage from my first novel, Charlinder's Walk.

(Which passage I will choose to share that day, I'm not sure.)

Prop 8 is now on trial. Oh, yes I can blog from it! This is just the tip of the iceberg.

A recent study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, conducted by scientists at King's College (London), suggests that the G-spot doesn't actually exist after all.

This is the signal for dozens of Jezebel commenters to retort, "I do SO have a G-spot, you rotten scientists!"

From where I'm sitting, it would be really nice if I could find a link to the study itself; all I can find are blog posts and news stories about it. One such example is at the BBC: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/8439000.stm

( YES WE CAN talk about our naughty parts! )

I'm really hoping I don't hear back from the literary agent I queried yesterday at least until I get home this evening. Because if I hear from her today, it'll probably be a no thanks. It'll probably be a no-thanks anyway, but if she responds really soon I highly doubt she'll be interested. And if I'm going to hear another no-thanks, I'd rather it not be within 24 hours of the query.

My very first query got a response--negative, natch--after about 12 hours. At the time I thought that was funny, and I might have even gotten another one even faster than that since then, but right now, can she give me more than a day before turning me down flat?

Actually the primary sign of fatigue is probably that I'm going more than a month between queries. It doesn't help that I've gone through so many of the agents I compiled in my list already. So I suppose it makes sense that I'm getting fatigued. But either way it's probably not a good sign that I'm hoping this one waits more than 24 hours before answering.

(And yes I am aware that no news is not good news. There's at least one agent on my list whom I queried in, like, January, and still hasn't responded. He probably won't respond. I get that.)

The Things They Carried
Tim O'Brien
1990

Anyone with a passing familiarity with Tim O'Brien's work knows that the author is a Vietnam vet who frequently revisits his war experiences in his writing. This piece starts with the title, literally enumerating the things, both tangible and intangible but mostly of the material, measurable type, that the combatants carry around. This could be incredibly dull in a less nuanced writer's hands, but the literalness of listing all those items, and their respective weights, gives the piece its initial grounding in the quotidian reality of the soldiers' lives. I didn't bother with the arithmetic--I'm almost afraid to break out the calculator and tally up the sheer poundage pressing on any particular combatant's back on a given day. It's the kind of weight where the author will list the ounces of each item, because when you're talking about that kind of weight, every ounce counts. The litany of concrete things, ounces and pounds makes its point to such an extent that the "weight of the world on his shoulders" cliche doesn't need to be voiced and might not even be relevant. The immediate picture it paints is no less valid for its literalness: a picture of young men in varying degrees of innocence and cynicism, carrying untold tens of pounds of armor, weapons, ammo, tools, rations and other supplies around on their persons in all weather, over all kinds of terrain, in the execution of a war they didn't start and in most cases had no choice but to fight.

( But actually that's not the point. )

Okay, now I've lost the link, but anyway, 23/6 posted a link to a video clip of The Daily Show involving Will Philips and Mick Foley.

So, I watched the video and posted this as a comment:

THAT LITTLE BOY IS AWESOME. *ahem* Sorry, but the child's erudition and precocity simply demanded an all-caps moment. I want to make Will Philips my best friend and teach him how to use words like "presuppose" in a sentence. That is, IF HE DOESN'T USE THEM IN SENTENCES ALREADY.

So then some other 23/6 fan said:

Alyson, that is one of the most pretentious paragraphs ever written.

Another poster came to my defense, but I still replied:

You can't have seen many pretentious paragraphs.

I mean: what? That's what she calls pretentious? And, am I supposed to apologize for using big words to enthuse over the kid's intelligence? Making use of one's vocabulary is "pretentious" now?

Fuck. That. Noise. Never hide your light.

Last night, I needle-felted a dark red capital A (as in Atheist, though it also doubles as my initial) onto the back of my laptop sleeve, and a Darwin fish on the front, while watching The Matrix.

Now THAT's the way to enjoy a night alone in the house.

Miers's Law #5: The definition of one's culture hinges not on what one can dish out, but on what one can take.

Richard Dawkins is speaking at the University of Virginia on October 16th.

That is the day after I am due to complete the move out of my apartment.

However, Charlottesville is not all that far away. That is a trip I just might have to make.

Miers's Law #4: Dishonesty is the default position of first-person statements posited in the third conditional.